Long time no speak! I hope you’ve all been doing well, living your best lives and soaking up all of this sun. I’m currently in turkey, and having quite possibly the most chilled out 10 days ever.
I’ve explored the neighboring mountains, snorkeled with fish and had some absolutely gorgeous kebabs.
I’ve also decided to do a three day water fast, and I won’t lie to you, it’s challenging. Today marks the last day of the fast, and tomorrow I can devour lots of nice fruit and veg. A water fast is basically consuming no calories at all, you can only drink teas and coffees (no sugar or milk).
Not eating for three days has made me realise two things: Humans don’t need to eat nearly as much as we do, and I really fucking enjoy eating.
Aside from that, my body has purged loads of toxins and I feel lighter, more relaxed and centred. I hope you have a great week and I’ll see you soon!
Okay, so just after three days of this, I’m definitely feeling a slight change in my daily life. It’s odd, it’s not like anything about your thoughts or feelings change, but you can see your feelings? That doesn’t make any sense, but you know when you get upset about something or angry about something? Well instead of the anger/sadness consuming you and altering your mood, you can simply observe the emotion and be like “Yeah that’s a perfectly valid response to that guy being a dick” or “I’m being irrational here”.
I know I’ve not being doing this for that long, so maybe I’m just wanting to feel the effects more than I’m actually feeling them, but I do feel more chilled out.
It’s kind of debated, but around 3500 years ago, the earliest written accounts of meditation were created (We think we’ve been doing it for around 7000 years!). Meditation comes from Hindu traditions, where one can achieve spiritual and self realization through concentration and attention.
Now a days there are maaany different practices that qualify as meditation (Mindfulness, spiritual, chanting ect). Instead of stating them all here, you can read about them here.
The world is full of crazy tech, and even crazier people. With all of this stuff it can be easy to forget how beautiful it is to merely exist. I’ll definitely be continuing with this practice, and even if you don’t feel like meditation is for you, just remember, you’re alive and you’re loved!
That’s four sessions down, and it’s not getting any easier to be honest. I’ve noticed that my head seems to play the hook of a song on repeat. The song changes depending on what I’ve been listening to that day, last night it was “Owner of a lonely heart”. Maybe the songs that get stuck in our heads get stuck for a particular reason, but I’m not too sure.
I was thinking to myself, how am I supposed to meditate when my head is constantly singing stuff? So I started reading into how/why this happens. According to one source, these tunes are called ear-worms, and trying to get rid of them only brings your attention to them more. The article suggests that you should try to listen to your surroundings as closely as possible, just be a very observant listener. Eventually the ear worm will fade away.
At some point I just got bored and thought about what exactly I was doing, and then it occurred to me that I don’t really know what meditation is. As far as I was aware, meditation was about sitting quietly and tuning into the universe (Whatever the hell that means). Headspace however, has a much better definition:
“It’s about training in awareness and getting a healthy sense of perspective. You’re not trying to turn off your thoughts or feelings. You’re learning to observe them without judgment.” I guess it’s more about listening to yourself than telling yourself to be quiet.
I felt pretty chilled out and happy today, slightly more in control. Not sure whether it’s the meditation or just a good day, but I feel like now I know what to do, I might start seeing benefits.
(Preface: I’m not completely new to meditation, I just don’t have a regular practice)
So I’m one day into this 4 day meditation thing. I’ve “successfully” meditated for a total of 30 minutes now. I set an alarm for 15 minutes last night and again this morning, sat upright and crossed legged on my bed against the headboard with my hands in my lap.
It was kind of funny for the first few minutes, I kept narrating how I was going to write this blog post and then trying to be in the moment. But then I started to focus on my breathing and let my mind wander wherever it wanted to. I found this approach much easier than trying to silence my thoughts.
What’s absolutely crazy is how much I think on a daily basis, in just 15 minutes I felt like I had been going on mini thought journeys for years! Thoughts about what I should be doing right now, where I should be, how I should achieve stuff were all common.
After a little while, it was like I was being shown all of the ways that I’ve reacted poorly to people or treated them wrong. I guess this is why it feels so uncomfortable to start meditating, you’re kind of shown all of the bad shit that’s in your head and it’s pretty daunting facing it. Memories of conversations where I’ve manipulated someone into doing what I want, decisions that I’ve followed through with even though I knew deep down that they’re not right.
I eventually just came to terms with it, and thought; “That’s past Jrod, he doesn’t define my future actions”, and I felt some sense of relief.
What’s up you sexy son of a gun,
I’m gonna be honest with you guys, I’m running out of ways to say hello at the start of every post. To stop me writing the same thing every damn time, I’ll just probably get right into the post, then again challenges are what help us grow right?
Anyway, sometimes when I get bored and have nothing to do, my mind starts to think about stuff, and when I think about stuff, I get existential. I think my brain struggles to differentiate boredom from sadness. But other times I think boredom causes it.
For some reason yesterday evening, I was hit with this wave of helplessness and I just didn’t want to talk to anyone. I went up to my room and just shut the door and layed on my bed, feeling sorry for myself. I sat up after a while and decided to meditate for a bit, even though I really didn’t want to. I think it worked, because I found the motivation to get up and have a shower before going to sleep.
People always bang on about meditation left right and centre. Personally I can’t do it very well; I have a really short attention span, so after 30 seconds of silence I follow random thoughts without even realising it.
So for the rest of the week, I’m gonna meditate for 15 minutes everyday, twice a day. Once before bed, and once when I wake up. These next few posts are going to be about different aspects of meditation and the benefits of it, and I’ll tell you if I think they’re chatting shite or not.